


she's got a boyfriend, anyway

by b_j_hx



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: 2 dumb girls, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Gigi is in love, Gigi pining over Crystal, Lesbian AU, Parties, Pining, crystal has a bf, drugs and alcohol mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24470821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b_j_hx/pseuds/b_j_hx
Summary: Gigi Goode has spent a long time pining over Crystal Elizabeth Methyd.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 14
Kudos: 114





	she's got a boyfriend, anyway

Gigi laid back on her pillows, staring up at her ceiling. A couple of tears had squeezed their way out, making wet tracks down her cheeks and into her hair. She registered how uncomfortable it was, feeling the teardrop creep into her ear, but made no attempt to move.

_Give me courage to accept the things I cannot change._

The phrase crept into her head, clear as a bell. Thing is, she couldn’t accept it. Because no one, absolutely no one, would understand. She was meant for big things, at least she believed she was. Fashion design, modelling, acting, singing, fuck, she could probably take her pick. School was easy. Especially when you looked like _that_.

All the boys loved her. All the girls wanted to be her.

Nowhere in her plans did she account for the fact she was very much sure she was gay.

Gigi jumped at the high pitched _ping_ of her text notification, pulling her from her thoughts. Probably Nicky, or Jan or someone. Nothing important. Nothing worth moving for. Nothing worth stopping wallowing in her own self pity.

It was pitiful, really. Being painfully infatuated by a girl with a boyfriend, a girl who didn’t exactly ‘fit’ the norms, a crazy, colourful, arty, beautiful girl.

The only plus side was, Gigi’s friends would _never_ know. Her crush was _that_ out of the left field.

Crystal Elizabeth Methyd. That was her name. A small smile played on Gigi’s lips. She loved the girl’s name, it suited her so very well. Every time she smiled bashfully in class, or blushed and stuttered before having to read aloud, or punctured her sentences with an adorably confused ‘um’, or just anything really, turned Gigi into mush. Here, in the privacy of her own room after school, was the only place she allowed herself to think about Crystal the way she wanted to.

It was also the only place she allowed herself to cry over Crystal, over the impossible situation she was in. To be honest, even if Crystal didn’t have a boyfriend, a fact Gigi knew because she’d seen them together at parties on a few occasions, Gigi would still be in a similar predicament. There was _no way_ she could come out, at least not whilst she was still at school. The thought scared her so much, invisible butterflies thrashed in her stomach. She was simply a girl who cared too much what everyone else thought of her. _Robotic perfection_ , apparently, she thought, recalling a comment someone made about her, about her having no emotion. If only they knew.

On the occasions she’d seen Crystal with her boyfriend, Gigi had mostly drank the pain away. She wasn’t a big drinker, not by any means, much preferring a night in or leaving the party early once she’d been there long enough to keep up appearances. But when the art crowd arrived, with their crazy hair colours and questionable clashing outfits, Gigi’s eyes always migrated to Crystal’s ring-covered fingers clutching _his_ hand. Then, she was doing shots with Nicky off some football players abs, letting herself get looser than she ever intended to.

Gigi’s mind wandered to the last party she’d attended, a couple of weekends ago. The one that had really cemented her feelings for Crystal. She didn't know what it was, but something was stopping her from drinking that night. She was painfully aware of the crazy girl dancing metres away from her, boyfriend nowhere to be seen, her friends screaming Lady Gaga lyrics. Nicky had scoffed next to Gigi, rolling her eyes at their antics. Gigi knew what Crystal’s friends must have thought. _Stuck up bitches._

Crystal was a party girl, that much was obvious from all the times they’d ended up at the same one. She’d often be found far too drunk and very stoned, doing some questionable things that always made it onto everyone’s Instagram story. She was a laugh, quite loved around the school, the kind of girl you’d want to protect from hurting herself because she was so clumsy. The kind of girl _Gigi_ wanted to protect.

That night, Crystal had definitely had too much, and Gigi wasn’t sure if she was on something, she was so out of it. She couldn’t stop worrying about her all night, until eventually she went outside for a breather, still stone cold sober, and found Crystal, abandoned by her friends, almost passed out on the ground, retching. Gigi had freaked, immediately asking her where her boyfriend was, where her friends were. Crystal had no idea where her friends had gone and Gigi wanted to kill them all for leaving her like this. Apparently her boyfriend was working that night. There was no way she was going to let anyone else take care of her, she didn’t trust them, everyone else was drunk. She pushed her feelings to the back of her mind and focused on getting the girl indoors, getting her a drink. Gigi was hyper-aware of how good Crystal smelled the whole way inside, the girl leaning all of her weight on Gigi, her perfume the only thing Gigi could concentrate on. Crystal tried to drink water straight from the tap, gaining a few laughs from those around the kitchen. Gigi felt herself smile dumbly at the antic. So typically Crystal.

Once Crystal had sobered up a little, and calmed down, by sitting almost on Gigi’s lap in the living room whilst Gigi held a glass of water for her that she kept taking little sips from, Gigi trying not to care too much about Crystal’s body pressed into hers and her nose practically buried in Crystal’s gorgeous smelling curls, Gigi knew it was time to try and get her home. Or at least find her friends.

Needless to say, a pink-haired girl who’s name escaped Gigi was visibly shocked to see that she’d taken such good care of Crystal, a girl who wasn’t even really meant to be on Gigi’s radar. Luckily, no one seemed to remember the way Gigi had stayed with Crystal for most of that night, the way she’d held back her crazy curls and stroked her back while she was sick, the way Gigi had whispered to her how beautiful she was while she was leaned into her, knowing the girl would have no recollection of the conversation in the morning.

Gigi felt a few more tears tickle the sides of her face as she recalled that night. God, she’d do anything to protect that girl, and they’d barely had a conversation sober. _Time to snap the fuck out of it, Geege,_ she thought, reluctantly rolling over and checking her phone. As predicted, the text was from Nicky, inviting her to a party in a couple weekends time at Jaida’s house.

 _Christopher will be there!!!!!!!!!_ Nicky had written, the several exclamation points and disgusting aubergine emojis that followed a clear indication that Gigi was the subject of interest to the captain of the cross country boys team, and therefore, he should be at the forefront of her mind, too.

 _Omg, I cannot wait,_ she replied, thankful it was seemingly easier to feign enthusiasm for a boy she had absolutely no interest in over text.

She clicked onto her Instagram, mindlessly scrolling through her feed. She double tapped a photo of Christopher, just to keep up appearances mind, and then almost had a mini heart attack as she saw the next photo underneath. _Crystal,_ looking absolutely beautiful, taking a selfie wearing loads of layered necklaces and a loud shirt. Gigi had followed her ages ago, and of course Crystal had followed her back, but that’s as far as their online interaction went.

Gigi hesitated before double tapping. _Oh well._

Ten minutes later, she’d noticed that Crystal had liked one of her recent photos. Underneath, the curly haired girl had commented three heart-eye emojis. Gigi’s own heart was in her throat, hardly daring to believe it. True, all of her friends commented similar things, but the photo was Gigi in a bikini, posing. She forgot herself, for just a moment, revelling in the attention from her crush. Then reality sunk in. Gigi could never let her crush be known. And she’s got a boyfriend, anyway.

**_Crystalmethyd sent you a direct message_ ** _: hey, I’m so so sorry I never reached out to you sooner about that party a couple weeks ago, I just didn't know what to say. Daegen told me that you looked after me while I was completely fucked. I guess I party a bit too hard sometimes, lol. Anyway, I didn't want you to think I wasn't totally grateful that you saved me from like, choking on my own vomit or something. I literally can’t thank you enough. <3_

Gigi had read and re-read the message six times already. It was the following day, and she was holding the her phone containing the message like it was a grenade about to explode. She had to get over herself and compose a reply like a totally normal, logical person. God, if she hadn’t bothered to like Crystal’s photo this may never have happened. Now she was in deeper than she ever had been before, in the way of actual communication with Crystal.

‘Hey, Diva,’ she sighed, as Nicky approached her, quickly locking her phone and sliding it into her bag.

‘So, I have it on good authority that Christopher is going to ask you on a date.’ Nicky said in her heavy accent, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

Gigi offered a thin-lipped smile.

‘Do you think he’s cute?’ Nicky prompted. Just then, Gigi heard an unmistakable laugh that she herself had made fun of many a time before, coming from the other end of the corridor. It was Yvie Oddly, meaning the rest of the art crowd were probably not far behind.

‘Why are you staring at Oddly?’ Nicky asked, although she herself was taken aback by the girls outfit choice.

Gigi wasn’t staring at Yvie, though. She was staring at Crystal, who looked ethereal, and trying to ignore the fact she was clutching her boyfriend’s hand. Gigi couldn’t help wishing, just for a moment, that it was her hand clutching Crystals, the same way it had when she helped her up after she’d drank too much, the same way it had when Crystal was sitting with her on the sofa, as Gigi took the time to examine all of her pretty rings in detail. Gigi knew, even from this far away, that on the thumb stroking her boyfriend’s hand as they walked there was a little silver ring with an elephant on it, and that the little elephant had a blue jewel on his stainless steel body. Gigi hated that she knew that.

‘Why do they dress so weird.’ Gigi said, snapping out of her thoughts.

‘ _Grande catastrophe.’_ Nicky mumbled.

Eventually, Gigi had found the words to reply to Crystal’s message. Since then, the girls had struck up a sort of online companionship, after they realised they had a stupidly similar sense of humour. Gigi’s favourite part of the day was checking her phone to see if Crystal had sent her another funny meme or replied to her. She was in her own world a lot of the time, even around her friends, her thoughts occupied by the curly haired girl, imagining her cute grin as she laughed at something Gigi said, or the way her chocolate brown eyes would glance across Gigi’s photos, that she always always liked and commented on now. Gigi felt the need to keep it private, knowing her friends wouldn't understand why she was talking to Crystal.

It hurt, though, it really did, to be closer to Crystal than ever before, even if it wasn’t in person, and know that the jokes they shared, the time they spent talking would never amount to more than friends. One night, when Gigi was feeling particularly hateful, she scrolled through all of Crystal’s boyfriends pictures, cursing him, hating him, this guy she didn't even know, because he was the centre of Crystal’s universe and she wanted it to be her. She wanted it to be her so badly.

The night of Jaida’s party rolled around. Gigi was getting ready, sat at her huge dressing table brushing some blusher over her perfect nose. She wasn’t bragging, but her nose was her best feature. Everyone said so. Celebrities paid _shitloads_ for her nose, Nicky always reminded her. Her phone buzzed, and she saw the message was from Crystal. Heart racing, the way it always did when Gigi saw her name pop up, she read it.

_Are you going to Jaida’s party? Im so exciiiiiiiited and I just can’t hiiiiiide it!!!!_

Gigi laughed, feeling a rush of elation that Crystal would be there tonight, the sound startling Nicky, who was doing her eyeliner.

‘Who’s got you so happy?’ Jan asked, staring down at Gigi’s bed where she’d laid out two outfit choices.

‘No one, it was just a meme.’ Gigi said quickly.

‘Not Christopher then?’ Jan asked, feeling proud of herself for being the one to ‘set them up.’ Jan was the captain of the girls’ cross country team, and knew Christopher well.

‘No, I'll see him later I guess.’

‘You gonna kiss him, Gee?’ Nicky asked. Gigi rolled her eyes, they weren’t fourteen.

‘I'll be doing no such thing.’

‘Come on, live a little, you’re always so prissy at parties.’ Jan laughed.

Gigi turned her attention back to her phone, typing out a reply to Crystal.

_Hopefully I'll see you later party girl!!!!!!_

Crystal replied quickly, a host of emojis and the word YAY.

Gigi bet she’d already started drinking. Her stomach immediately settled into knots of worry for Crystal, before she reminded herself that Crystal’s boyfriend was definitely going to be there and it was definitely _his_ job to look after her, no matter how drunk she got. The worry turned to sadness quickly, and Gigi found herself asking Nicky to pour her a drink.

Jaida’s house was huge, full of sprawling rooms packed with dancing teenagers as well as older college kids, friends of Jaida’s older brothers, one of whom was currently DJ-ing in the living room. Nicky had pretty much ditched Gigi as soon as they'd walked in, keen to find Jaida. Gigi found herself stood in the corner of the living room with Jan, and realised, as she teetered slightly in her heels, that she might be a little tipsy.

‘Christopher!’ Jan suddenly yelled, almost loud enough to burst her eardrums, waving down a group of athletic boys that had just come inside from the garden. _Great._ Gigi debated running away, a giggle forming in her throat when she thought of how funny Jan’s face would look when she realised Gigi had just disappeared into thin air. _Shit,_ maybe she was drunker then she thought.

The boys began to amble over, Christopher’s eyes firmly planted on her. Quickly, she downed the rest of the drink in her cup.

‘Hey,’ he said, in a way which probably made most girls turn to jelly, but not Gigi.

‘Hey yourself,’ she replied, trying not to sound bored.

Before long, Christopher had dragged her over to dance and thanks to the drink, Gigi wasn’t hating it as much as she would’ve done sober. Sure, it was annoying having to slightly duck her head every time she thought he was going in for a kiss, but Jan, Nicky and Jaida had joined them, and she focused on her friends, trying to forget the foreign feeling of Christopher’s hands on her waist. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a flash of blue, a hair bow, and blonde curls barrelling their way upstairs to the bathroom. _Crystal._

Gigi kept her eyes trained on the stairs, waiting for someone else to make an appearance, her boyfriend perhaps, or one of her friends to go and see what was going on. But no one did, and Gigi’s attention was elsewhere when Christopher’s lips brushed hers.

She jumped back like she’d been burned, startling Christopher. He looked confused, and then sad.

‘Did I do something?’ He asked, but Gigi was still whipping her head round, looking for someone to go and see if Crystal was ok.

‘I... no, I'm sorry I just have to go and do something.’ Gigi babbled, breaking free of his grasp.

‘Where are you going?’ Jaida yelled above the music.

‘Bathroom.’ Gigi said sharply, before turning and rushing up the stairs.

_Goddamnit,_ Gigi thought, working her way through the corridor and the maze of rooms coming from it. She’d walked in on two people going at it in a bedroom already. Then, she heard a giggle, certain it was Crystal’s, and pushed open the nearest door. It was the bathroom, and Crystal was leaning over the toilet, laughing. Gigi felt a wave of relief that she was okay, and then burst out laughing too.

‘What?’ She managed to get out between giggles, taking in the scene. Crystal’s blue dress was askew, her bright yellow tights clashing horribly with the colour of the bathroom tiles, and she’d kicked off her heels somewhere across the room.

‘Drank too much again.’ Crystal sighed, smiling adorably.

‘Hi.’ Gigi breathed, unable to keep the smile off her face. She was practically beaming.

‘Hi,’ Crystal replied shyly, smiling back.

Gigi felt the affects of the alcohol hit her somewhat suddenly and leaned against the sink, before Crystal held out her hand, which Gigi took gratefully, sinking down onto the floor alongside her. Gigi studied the hand in hers, too drunk to care, noticing the little elephant ring on Crystal’s thumb. She ran her finger over it, and Crystal giggled again.

‘Do you like my ring?’

‘It’s very cute.’ Gigi replied.

Crystal removed her hand from Gigi’s and slid off the ring, before clumsily sliding it onto Gigi’s finger. Then, she laced the girls hands back together.

‘It looks better on you, Miss Goode.’

‘I couldn't possibly.’ Gigi joked, but Crystal was insistent. ‘Keep it, I like it on you.’

Gigi felt her heart hammering inside her chest. This couldn’t be happening. She had to ask.

‘Why are you up here all alone?’

Crystal giggled again, ‘I'm fine. I didn't wanna stop the others from having fun just cause I felt a bit sick.’

‘Your boyfriend didn’t follow you?’ Gigi asked, hating the word _boyfriend_ as soon as it fell from her lips.

‘Nah, he’s probably with the others,’ Crystal said dreamily, clearly pretty out of it.

‘Oh.’ Was all Gigi could think to say.

‘Why are you here? Do you feel sick too? We can totally share the toilet bowl.’

Gigi didn’t know what to say.

‘I just wanted to make sure you were okay.’ She said quietly, the alcohol making her bold.

Crystal looked confused for a second. ‘Really?’ She asked.

‘Yeah.’

‘You have a thing for looking after me at parties.’ Crystal said jokingly.

‘I... um...’ Gigi couldn’t find her words.

‘I don’t remember much about the last time, but Daegen told me you sat with me for ages and made me drink water.’ Crystal laughed.

‘Yeah, pretty much.’ Gigi said, feeling her mouth go dry.

‘You didn’t have to do that.’ Crystal said softly, rubbing her thumb, now minus the elephant ring, along Gigi’s hand. It felt surreal that the gesture she knew Crystal used with her boyfriend was now being used on her.

‘I wanted to.’ Gigi mumbled, hating her new found confidence, but also glad that she was finally able to voice her feelings.

Crystal looked at her, as if she was studying her. Gigi smiled, noticing the glittery eyeshadow that matched her dress, some of it smudged, leaving streaks across Crystal’s temple.

‘Why did you want too? We weren’t even friends then.’ Crystal said, still staring at Gigi.

‘I.. I don’t know.’ Gigi lied, knowing that revealing any more would put everything at risk. Her carefully curated reputation, her position in the school’s social hierarchy, not to mention the embarrassment if anyone got wind of it.

‘I think I do.’ Crystal giggled, ‘but if you don’t want to tell me, I get it.’

Gigi’s heart was thumping so hard against her chest she was surprised Crystal couldn’t hear it. She pulled her hand away, as if the other girl’s touch had burned her. Gigi felt her walls creep back up, scared of letting out any more information.

‘You don’t know anything.’ Gigi said, more coldly than she intended to. Then, the rippling waves of guilt washed over her, as she took in Crystal’s surprised and upset face, and despite herself, Gigi Goode was crying, on Jaida’s bathroom floor.

She never cried in front of anyone, her mom the only person who ever saw Gigi display this much emotion.

But Crystal knew exactly what to do, and Gigi loved her more for it. Crystal let her cry, not trying to comfort her, or force her to speak. She let Gigi cry, alone, sitting just far away enough to be a comfort but not imposing.

Eventually, despite all her better judgement, Gigi allowed Crystal to bundle her up in her arms. Gigi collapsed against her chest, smelling the now familiar perfume. It just made her cry more. This girl that she harboured secret feelings for, this girl who saw right through her, this girl that knew exactly what Gigi needed when she was upset, would never be hers.

‘Anything you say to me, I won’t tell anyone. I promise.’ Crystal had seemed to sober up a bit by this point, roles reversed, looking after Gigi for a change.

‘I _can’t,_ Crystal.’ Gigi sobbed, fresh tears springing to her eyes. ‘I can’t.’ She broke down again, repeating ‘ _fuck_ ’ and ‘I'm sorry’ between sobs whilst Crystal rubbed her back.

‘Okay, let’s do it like this.’ Crystal suddenly pulled back, taking Gigi’s hand again. ‘One squeeze for yes, two squeezes for no. Then you can tell me everything, and you don’t have to try and put it into words.’

Gigi was almost taken aback by the _understanding_ this girl had of her, of the way she worked, the way she needed to express her feelings.

‘Do you have a secret?’ Crystal asked, and Gigi squeezed her hand tightly, just once.

‘Do you want to tell me, if I promise it’s between us?’

_Squeeze._

‘Do you trust me?’

_squeeze._

‘Do any of your other friends know?’

_Squeeze. Squeeze._

‘Okay. Are you confused about something?’

_squeeze._

‘Is it your sexuality?’ Crystal whispered the words quietly, hitting the nail on the head first time, and Gigi hesitated for a long while before giving her hand a single squeeze.

‘Do you think you might like girls?’ Crystal asked, looking more nervous than she had when she’d first started questioning Gigi. Gigi squeezed once again, shame and another feeling deep in the pit of her stomach.

Crystal’s next question knocked her for six. The curly haired girl whispered it, like saying the words too loud would cause both of their worlds to implode, which of course, it would.

_‘Do you think you like me?’_

Gigi hesitated, desperate to squeeze twice, make up a fake name, a fake girl she was crushing on, let Crystal help her without revealing everything, without ruining everything. The rejection would be hard, but at least Gigi could begin to get over it, once Crystal had explained she loved her boyfriend and she was sorry.

A tear rolled down Gigi’s cheek as she squeezed once. For a split second, she almost did it, almost squeezed again, but she didn’t.

Crystal dropped her hand. Gigi braced herself, ready for the words to come, and she hated herself for putting Crystal in this position, having to apologise for loving someone else.

‘I’ve realised, since the last party, and since we’ve been talking over messages.’ Crystal said, clearly offering up an explanation for how she realised Gigi had feelings for her. _Fuck, I thought I was more careful than that,_ Gigi thought, hating herself even more.

‘I’ve realised that despite having a boyfriend, I think I'm catching feelings for you. I’m bisexual, Gigi’

_What._

‘I mean, I obviously thought you were never gonna look at me like that, because you’re a literal model.’

_The._

‘But yeah, I guess I just...I don't know.’

_Fuck._

It all was just too much for Gigi’s brain to process. Too many emotions were jostling for space, as well as the alcohol, and she found herself lying back on the cool tile of the bathroom floor, in fits of giggles.

Crystal was laughing, too, she realised, and that in turn made her laugh more. Eventually, when the girls had gotten a grip of themselves, Crystal reached out and squeezed her hand again.

‘So.’

‘So.’ Gigi suddenly turned serious, unsure of what happened now. The fear of coming out was still the number one thing on her mind. But she’d get over it, to have Crystal, right?

‘The thing is, I think I still love my boyfriend.’

Gigi’s heart sunk. Of course. Of course she did.

‘But I don’t wanna ignore my feelings for you.’

‘Crystal, I wanna be in a relationship with you, not your boyfriend.’ Gigi sighed, although she was shocked the words had so openly come out of her mouth.

‘We have an open relationship,’ she smiled. ‘He wouldn't mind if I wanted to explore this... thing with you, with us.’

Gigi didn’t know what to say.

‘We can always keep it between us, like, until you’re ready to tell people.’

Gigi smiled. Of course Crystal knew what her number one worry would be.

‘I'll get so jealous seeing you with him.’ Gigi admitted.

‘Well, just remember, everything he’s got, you can have too.’ Crystal smiled, leaning in closer.

Gigi had anticipated this moment for so long. In the privacy of her own room, she'd imagined what Crystal’s soft lips would feel like against her own. She’d imagined tangling her long fingers in Crystal’s curls, kissing the exposed tan skin of her neck.

The reality was so much better.

‘Let’s just see where things go.’ Crystal smiled, when the girls had pulled away.

‘Yeah, I like that idea.’ Gigi smiled.

The rest of the party was spent stealing secret glances at each other across the room after Gigi had told Christopher, in no uncertain terms, that she wasn’t into him, much to Jan’s dismay.

That night, crawling into bed with a drunk Nicky, Gigi smiled as she noticed a message from Crystal.

_I gave u my ring so you have to be my wifey <3_

Gigi looked down at her finger, smiling at the little elephant, before drifting off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> this was... totally inspired by recent events. Ha.


End file.
